Paris ain't so cheap

Was planning to go to Paris. Too expensive, who knew that last minute eurostar tickets are way way way more expensive. So impromptu holidays are pretty much out then. You need at least 2 months in advance just to have a decently priced holiday. Sucks.

Whine whine whine

I'm not in a good place. I keep on complaining, I hate it when I do that. Which is why I hate this post, cause I'm esentially whining about whining. Dang, you really can't win.

On a happy note, I got my new ipod today. My old one conked out and I'm still getting around to having it repaired. To be fair, the old one was a first generation black and white model with the click wheel. I once saw an advert in the paper asking people like us to donate our ipod so it can be displayed in a museum. I also remember the conversation I had that went something like this:

Girl who owns a new generation colored video playing ipod: Hey, your ipod looks different.

Me: ???

Girl: Can I see?

Me: ???

Girl: COOOOOL!!!! YOUR IPOD IS BLACK AND WHITE! HOW DO YOU LOOK AT THE VIDEOS???

Me: It doesn't have videos.

Girl: Oooooh, what does it do?

Me: It plays music.

Girl: WOOOOOW IT'S BLACK AND WHITE. IT'S SO TOTALLY RETRO.

Me: I used to watch black and white tv with dials, no remote control, so this is nothing new.

Chinatown

I've been out for the past couple of nights, both times in Chinatown. I seem to gravitate towards Gerrard Street whenever I'm stressed. Either there or Royal China in Bayswater. It was good to get out. I've forgotten how spending time with friends make me feel better. It's been great catching up with friends who've known me since childhood. They always help keep things in perspective. My mood's a lot better so that's a relief.

I forgot how drunk people get in Soho. *Hello drunk girl playing chicken with the cars, can you please not do it in front of me?*

Burn out

Ah yes. That familiar feeling of being emotional over nothing. It's baaaack (think blonde haired girl from poltergeist). I think not having a day off for almost two full months has taken it's toll. Ok, I don't think, I know. I just had to have it spelled out for me today when I was chatting with Meh. Oo nga no, duh.

I've lost my mojo. I'm tired, cranky, on the edge and worst of all manic. I don't want to have another bout of mild depression. Yes sports fans, I do have a history of that, then again I wouldn't trust a doctor who so easily hands out prescription for prozac. And no, I never did fill out that prescription. Just getting diagnosed and handed the go signal to take the happy pill jolted me from my dark mood. On the upside, I've stopped drinking coffee. I have my zen filled cup of green tea for the whole day and it makes me feel so much better.

I can't wait to get a proper day off and just people watch. American Dad just ain't cutting it anymore. I can't wait to use my passport (the red one natch) and go to Paris. Eat macarons, see Mona Lisa (yes I know she's actually small in real life and not all that), pain au chocolat, coffee. Have a life basically.

I know, I'm whining.

How Did I End Up Here?

I keep on having deja vus since the past week. The recurring theme is, how the heck did I end up here? I've been whining, complaining and doing non stop emo. I think it's just from lack of sleep and too much work. You know, stress does that to you. You become emotional, cry a lot and end up a grumpy bastard. That's me at the moment. I am looking forward to my days off, whenever that will be.

In an unrelated note, Wilben where are you? I can't find you.

Long live the queen part 2

My passport was delivered by post last week, kind of anticlimatic really, I was expecting more bells and whistles. It came exactly 4 days after I went for the interview (they had to make sure I was a real person). It's now on my desk, and I can't help but stare at it every so often. I told myself I'd go back home as soon as I got my passport. In the five years that I've been here, I've adapted to a new way of life without me meaning to. Living away from home for so long has changed my outlook. I'm settled in way, although I've still to buy my first house (and subject myself to a million years of massive debt, but then again, that's the way forward according to the credit ratings).

So anyhooo, I just finished watching Bridgette Jones II. I'm glad I didn't pay to watch it. It's funny but I was distracted by Renee Zelwegger's lips. (Did I spell that right? Shame on me for not bothering to google her name.) She kept on pouting and unpouting the whole time. What is with that? I recognized some places in the movie but I don't know anyone who actually speaks like that (Maybe I've been hanging out with the un posh crowd too much). Or maybe that's why I never paid to see the movie.

Sans twitch

My eye's stopped twitching. I was told it was a sign of high blood pressure. Dear me.

Life's a Twitch

It's been a helluva week. Last weekend was the annual festival for our clients so we were busy as bees (I killed one by accident...I was swatting it away with the paper and it kind of...died...I felt so bad...) My left eyelid's been twitching non stop for 2 days. It goes off every ten minutes. Like those annoying car alarms that go *Step away from the vehicle* everytime someone gets too close. I can't seem to stop it, and I don't know what's causing it. The search results I've had so far is:

1. If you're left eye twitches, then it's good luck. (Like when a bird sh*ts on you, it's good luck)
2. See your physician as this is a sign of a neurological disorder. (Okaaaaaaay)
3. It's nerve related or something. (I go for *or something*, I actually have a pet mouse in there and his nose keeps twitching)
4. I LOVE when my eyelid twitches. (Try having sex...)

My favorite so far is:

My eye twitches whenever I get a brilliant idea on how to dominate the world. Nice.

Long Live the Queen

I became a British citizen yesterday. Today, our ceiling is leaking. Hail the Queen.

Can You Believe It?

*Ring*

Me: Hello?

Prita: Hello, may I speak with the contract holder for this telephone landline please.

Me: Wha? Yes that's me.

Prita: Hi, my name is Prita Patel. Are you the contract holder for this telephone landline please? (It wasn't any less confusing the second time she said it)

Me: Yes I am.

Prita: Hello mam. I'm here to tell you that you can cut the cost of your landline rental down to 8 pounds. Can you believe it?

Me: No. *Click*

I should stop answering the phone.

I miss you already

Winnie was here for a visit. It was a whole week of sunshine! I took her to the airport today, it was raining, gloomy, cold. The weather knows how I feel.

Thanks for the macarons. I don't want to eat them. They look so pretty!

Unbelievable Bargain!

I've been on hiatus for quite some time. Life gets in the way you know?

The last thing I want to do on my days off is to take a call from a "customer advisor". Somehow today the ringing of the phone got to me and instead of ignoring it I answered. I was greeted by Cathy, a customer advisor from a telephone company. The ensuring conversation left me bemused.

Cathy: Good afternoon, can I speak to Mizzz So please (I hate that, Mizzzz So)

Me: Yes?

Cathy: Before I start Mizzz So, let me advise you that our conversation will be recorded for future training purposes.

Me: Gosh really? No, I'm honored to be part of your training programme. (No, I didn't really say that but I wish I had)

Cathy: Mizzzz So, as you have been a longtime customer of said telephone company, I am here to offer you an unbelievable bargain with massive discounts on your broadband service.

Me: .....I already have broadband.

Cathy: Who is your current broadband provider?

Me: What are the details of the discount?

Cathy: I don't think you heard me Mizzz So, I said who is your current broadband provider?

Me: I'm not willing to disclose that. Can I know what the bargain is all about?

Cathy: Well I'm not going to go any further with the offer until you tell me who your broadband provider is.

Me: "Click"

That click was me hanging up the phone. I guess I won't get the unbelievable bargain afterall.

Life's little pleasures

Life is good.

BOB has a friend!

Baaaaaaah. Bob has a new friend courtesy of Dang. We’re still trying to think of names. His name is Noris. I think we like that. Bob and Noris.

And I'm leaving on a jet plane...

It never gets any easier leaving family and friends to go back to my adopted home. There's this rush of emotions that you can't stop and suddenly you find yourself holding back sobs (it's just too embarassing to have snot running down your nose as you sob uncontrollably). Ahhh vanity, my savior. This time, it's especially hard for me to leave. I've been given a chance to touch base with my good friends, and I remember why I miss home so much. It's not so much where I am, but who I'm with that matters now. I'm torn between two countries, and leaving each one is difficult because of who I am leaving behind. I've been able to spend a lot of time with the people I love, some of them too short a time, but nonetheless every single second spent with them counts. I bumped into friends I wanted to see but just couldn't arrange our schedules to fit, it happened to me more than once during this trip. Serendipity is a word I've learned during this trip. I've also realized how much I've grown emotionally (and physically...I've had too many halo halos, each one of them savored).

I will see you again soon. You can bet on that.

Life is changing

There are so many decisions to be made lately, but I am thankful to be making decisions under positive circumstances. I have been given the chance (albeit from horrific beginnings) to spend time with loved ones. I am more open, more aware that the people I spend time with are the most important people in my life, now and forever. I don't know what kind of withdrawal symptoms I'll have to deal with when I get home. I've been told to process my grief, lest it become something too big to deal with. I think at this point I am still on auto pilot, but I am vaguely aware that beneath the surface, there is this quiet desperation to be able to merge my two lives, to make everything easier for me. Therein lies the problem, I want to make things easier for me, not for the people around me. In any case, I am blessed (I have this realization everyday) to have this dilemma.

I can't wait to see what life holds for me.

To whom much is given, much is expected

After the storm the sky clears and the sun comes out again. That's how things have been here. It rains hard but each time the downpour stops, the air is fresher, the sky is clearer and the sun seems to shine brighter. I have been touched by God. I am seeing things from a different perspective, and I feel loved. I have been answered, and it is a loud one. My heart is full of gratitude. I was slapped on the head, told to wake up and stop doubting.

It has been a very loud call, and the experience has been humbling. I am thankful everyday for the new things that I am slowly learning. Yesterday in church (this is part of my *something you never thought you'd be doing* list) one of the message was...To whom much is given, much is expected. If you don't need God like you need air to breathe, then you have not experienced the real need for God.

I totally agree.

I am thankful for so many things...

I've learned to be thankful for the simplest of things. Life is not about what you don't have, it is about what you have and the people who experience your life with you. I have been given a gift and I am blessed to have it. It is not something I can hold nor touch, but it is something that will be with me forever. I am truly blessed. Thank you friends.

=(

Mike broke my cow print mug. All I'm left with are the teats. =(

You will be ok

There are things that we don't understand. There are things that we despise. There are things that we dream for. There are things that we want but cannot seem to have. We will learn to understand. We will learn to accept. We will learn to dream again. And we will get what we want. You will be ok.