Life is changing

There are so many decisions to be made lately, but I am thankful to be making decisions under positive circumstances. I have been given the chance (albeit from horrific beginnings) to spend time with loved ones. I am more open, more aware that the people I spend time with are the most important people in my life, now and forever. I don't know what kind of withdrawal symptoms I'll have to deal with when I get home. I've been told to process my grief, lest it become something too big to deal with. I think at this point I am still on auto pilot, but I am vaguely aware that beneath the surface, there is this quiet desperation to be able to merge my two lives, to make everything easier for me. Therein lies the problem, I want to make things easier for me, not for the people around me. In any case, I am blessed (I have this realization everyday) to have this dilemma.

I can't wait to see what life holds for me.

To whom much is given, much is expected

After the storm the sky clears and the sun comes out again. That's how things have been here. It rains hard but each time the downpour stops, the air is fresher, the sky is clearer and the sun seems to shine brighter. I have been touched by God. I am seeing things from a different perspective, and I feel loved. I have been answered, and it is a loud one. My heart is full of gratitude. I was slapped on the head, told to wake up and stop doubting.

It has been a very loud call, and the experience has been humbling. I am thankful everyday for the new things that I am slowly learning. Yesterday in church (this is part of my *something you never thought you'd be doing* list) one of the message was...To whom much is given, much is expected. If you don't need God like you need air to breathe, then you have not experienced the real need for God.

I totally agree.

I am thankful for so many things...

I've learned to be thankful for the simplest of things. Life is not about what you don't have, it is about what you have and the people who experience your life with you. I have been given a gift and I am blessed to have it. It is not something I can hold nor touch, but it is something that will be with me forever. I am truly blessed. Thank you friends.

=(

Mike broke my cow print mug. All I'm left with are the teats. =(

You will be ok

There are things that we don't understand. There are things that we despise. There are things that we dream for. There are things that we want but cannot seem to have. We will learn to understand. We will learn to accept. We will learn to dream again. And we will get what we want. You will be ok.