O.U.C.H.

I wasn't very nice today. In fact, I was downright nasty. It's kinda like how my mom talks to me when she's really really annoyed and trying to keep her temper. Only much worse. In the end I decided to ignore the guy. Let's call him Lito (kasi nakakalito talaga sya kausap). I didn't try and help, didn't say anything...zip. I figured it's better to be unhelpful than try to help and scream at the poor guy. It was either me or him. You know? I don't want to be nasty, I try not to be but if I can't help myself then I'd rather not say anything. I want to be nice. Really I do. I was telling another guy at work today how it's been a long week...and it's only Wednesday. I can imagine how Lito feels.

I burned myself today. Accidentally splashed hot smoking oil on my hand as I was putting the chicken in the pan. My left has is now immobile, as tiny movements just exacerbate the pain. Thank god for neosporin. This little tube was my lifeline while I was burning myself left and right in the kitchen. The same thing happened to me when I was in the US sans neosporin and I had to deal with the pain for 3 weeks. Finally when my hand started turning green a coworker of mine grabbed me by the collar and applied this miracle cream and three days later my hand was healed. Ray got me a new one neosporin + pain killer....aaaaaaaaaaah.

I don't feel so good...and I'm not talking about my hand.

Epiphany

Today as I was chatting with Tinah and ranting about how she should leave Manila to get away from the very stifling narrowmindedness of some people...

Tinah: Bun...are you having your period?

Me: *indignant* sabi ko na eh...Of course not!

Tinah: Omigod! You're having pms and dishing it out on me!

Me: *not so indignant* no i'm not!

Tinah: Yes you are!

So there...as I woke up today feeling a bit loopy again and not knowing why it was Tinah who gave me my epiphany. In the form of *OO NGA NOOOOOH* So that explains why I've been loopy, bitchy and downright nasty this past week. Geez...how could I have missed that? After that conversation she left to get her groceries, although I have this sinking feeling that she just wanted to get away from me. I must be in a really bad way, considering that she lives a mere 14 hours plane ride from me. So there you have it, leave it to the people who really know you to spot what's wrong with you, even if you're hundreds of miles apart. Thank god for friends, now I now I'm not losing my sanity afterall. And yes...this is a sneaky way of saying *Sorry Tinah* for being bitchy.

In Bora, Tinah modelling some ube flavored mamon (or was it pandan?)



I actually feel sorry for the guy at work now. I've been impatient (x2) with him since the start of the week and it's only Tuesday. In my defense, I'm not the only one. Everyone he comes across with goes away exasperated....banging their head *I kid you not*. Still, I feel bad for snapping at him. I hope we get through this week in one piece. I'm really saying that more for his sake than mine. *Grin* Ok ok that wasn't so nice.

Now it's time for me to let out a huge sigh of relief. For a minute there I really thought I was going insane. Loopy. Nuts. La cucaracha. I just wanted to say that.

Dampened spirits

Today, as with the past couple of weeks, I woke up feeling...blah. I can't explain it it's just there. Getting out of bed in the morning is just a chore these days. I think it's this city, the subway, the crap people who bring their prejudice and middle aged ways with them. It's the emptiness of the people. I feel like I'm becoming one of them. Bitchy...I snap at people who irritate me, I am abrubt with them, trying to be curt and polite but only managing to be the former. I get scared sometimes when I catch myself being rude, I don't like it. I don't like how I'm becoming sometimes.

Everyday I find something to be grateful about. My husband for one. I try and think of him to get some warmth throughout the day. My mom, although I don't see her at all these days the thought of going back home to see her keeps me going. Just something to get through the awful days. You know them. All of us have them, and I'm in the middle of it.

I was supposed to go to the park and have spend my lunchbreak soaking in the air, reading the paper, and eating a banana. It was raining so that didn't happen. It was a crummy day at work. Communication barriers can really give you a splitting headache. Talking to someone who doesn't have english as a first language, and you not knowing their mother tongue really tests your skills of communication. I think today I failed.

Deep breaths. That's what got me through the day. I'm glad it's over. Tomorrow is a new day. I'm home now so I'm a bit better. Mike doesn't have work so that made me even more eager to get home quickly. Seeing my husband in his houserobe (how positively domestic don't you think?) making dinner or sitting in front of the computer always gives me a laugh (especially if you knew what color the houserobe was...it was once mine).

I'm signing off tonight full of hope that tomorrow will be a lot better.

Random musings and rants

I've had one too many cups of coffee today. I didn't think I would get to a stage where I'd be saying time out to coffee, but hey it's happened. This year, I am turning the big three o and times like tonight I feel my age. Lately I can't stop saying that...*I feel my age*. I think it's hilarious given that I don't feel a day over 20 sometimes. I think it's even more hilarious that I say that because I only hear people in their 40's say that. My circle of friends in the same age group have all had their birthdays and have coped in different ways. Some have analyzed where they have ended up in their lives and careers, others have pulled all nighters to hold on to the wild partying, and some others have gone all broody. Some of us have done all of the above.

I had an amazing spa day with Cindy and Wins. Birthday present from Cindy at Clarins Institute...a must go. To quote Winnie...*....this doesn't have health benefits but it makes you feel amazingly relaxed afterwards.* The whole time I was just thinking of the beach...under the sun. Afterwards we went back to Cindy's flat and she made us crispy pata. Really, this lady has an amazing talent when it comes to bringing back food from home. After a trip from home her luggage is full of vacuum packed home cooked goodies like manang used to make (er...sidenote here...some of our moms don't cook) Laing, adobo, crispy pata (?!) Yumyyyy

British tv just sucks at times...I don't want to put down the whole thing because there's 8 out of 10 cats. I miss having cable *so sign up then you say...it's not at the top of the list right now okaaaay?* There's this really mind numbing, annoying and all the negative superlatives that I can think of comedy show called Miss Jocelyn. She's a hairdresser with a twin sister who's locked up and chained like a dog, a Jamaican restroom attendant who charges 1 pound per square of toilet roll, a customs inspector who eats a pet cat. It's...just...not...funny. Date my sister...passing around pictures of your sister to random men on the street asking them to...tadaaaah date her sister...and when the sister found out she was mighty chuffed...Mel?...L.O.S.E.R, big brother...a lot of times I feel I've had enough of this city. Ungrateful...tsk tsk tsk. And me? Stop watching crappy telly and read a book or let go of the computer so my husband can play football manager. He's got a good reverse psycho thing going on here...

Today I've had a guy stare at my boobs. It's not the first time it's happened and it's just disgusting. It's probably because he came from a country where his eyes would get gouged out if he stared at a woman on the street. I was telling Mike how uncivilized I thought they were and his answer was...*I don't know...I don't have men staring at my boobs.* You gotta love that.

My daily refuge

When I was young(er), I used to spend practically every waking minute at work. My officemates saw me more than my mom did. Christmas would come and my mom would have to ask me if I'd be spending it a home as opposed to spending it at work *unbelievable when I think about it now*. Now that I'm back to working in an office (I have officially sold out...IT pays a loooot better than kitchens, unless you're a celebrity chef. Ha! fat chance of that happening), my first few months were spent having lunch at my desk while working...but lately I just have this need to go out during my lunchbreak. I get a table (it's fast becoming my usual) at a spanish tapas bar near work, a couple of tapas, paper and I'm all set. I feel more relaxed, and I can work more efficiently after my break. Most importantly I get to have time alone. It's a nice change and more and more I realize that I'm not willing to give up me time and go back to the fast paced work life. I guess that means I'm not going to be CEO in my lifetime....but guess what...I'm not too bothered by that.
My usual table.

What bothered me...Steve Irwin passing away. The first thing I thought of was...a great man has been taken away from this world. It's a shame...no...it's a tragedy. Funny thing is I don't even watch his show regularly, but the times that I did I learned more about whatever he was talking about than my years in uni studying zoology. It feels like a spark has gone out.

Charlie's Angels

It's been a while since I've posted here. Mostly I've been busy with work. I've also been updating my food blog a lot more. Hmm...let's put things into perspective...I'm not really busy with work, more like preoccupied with work. That's one of the disadvantages of having to work, not having enough time to do anything else. Really, I'm not being ungrateful here...ok maybe a tad bit.

So...I've gained weight. The bane of my existence, the root of all my insecurities, the blight in my...ok ok you get the drift. I'm trying not to panic, not to fall back into old habits, and most especially not to let it get to me too much. I'm not categorically obese as my friend says....but I am fat. And in my twisted mind...fat...is...bad. I don't see anyone who's overweight as bad, just myself. Twisted logic right there. I haven't been my usual jolly self lately since I haven't been fitting into my slim clothes. I've been grumpy *argh* and moody *grrr* and Mike's been getting the brunt of it. Last night, he wanted to prove to me that I wasn't fat, so he carried me to bed. Thank goodness it was less than a meter away from where he lifted me. He was panting by the time we reached the bed. My sweet honey.

I've been reconnecting with old friends. We've not really lost touch. We've moved all over the globe and between us we'd rack up mileage points for another free ticket. It's hard to keep up when you've all got different time zones. I think I'm the lucky one...I'm right smack bang in the middle of their online time. As one goes to bed, the other's starting to get ready for work. What struck me most is how we've all grown up. It's funny, I used to read about adults in the glamour mademoiselle magazines back in the day. I never thought I'd be one to write about turning into an adult...or the resistance to it.

We're all trying to be responsible now...buying a house *it's gorgeous!*, getting married *I just woke up one day and did it!*, and having a committed relationship *I couldn't have picked a better person*. Hopefully a few years from now we get to be physically in one place at one time. Even if it's just to say hello in person, give that much wanted hug, have wine *I can't believe anne actually drinks booze now!!! My you guys have been a long time coming!!!* Jacq even makes cocktails ...we have progressed!!!

Here's to old friends.

Meh is in London to visit the queen

Melissa, a girl I've known since we were in nursery school is in London for a weeks for her tour of duty. This is the first time almost all of us are in one place (there's 4 and she's back home waiting for her baby to arrive awwww). It strikes me how grown up we all are, with our grown up jobs and grown up lives...we're at that stage where we reminisce about crazy things we did in grade school...there's a lot since we've all been together since we were 4. A quarter of a century...my oh my. A lot of things have changed, and yet we're still the same...it's a cozy feeling when we meet up...everything is relaxed, no bull since you've practically known each other when you were still too young to stop yourself from weeing in your pants. Or when the teacher tells you to pull up your pants eh Meh?

Everybody's coming here at the same time...Shiela's been here to visit for a couple of days of shopping before jetting of somewhere else to do what else but another round of shopping. My cousin's also been here to visit which was really cool...I haven't seen her for years! (The last time was when I was in high school) We just spent the whole time talking and catching up. I've been so detached from my extended family...they all live in 14 hour trips around the world. It's been great to catch up!

I've been in my new job for three months now. It feels like it's longer, maybe because I've settled in so quickly. It's a good feeling to be earning money, to actually not worry about where you'll get money to get food on the table (ok I'm exaggerating a little bit here).

Busy lives...but never too busy for friends and family...that's one good thing I keep in mind all the time.

Manila!

I'm back...with chickenpox... drat. I have a new job, but obviously I'm off work for a couple of weeks until I'm all healed.

I got to spend time with my mom which was great...I miss her terribly already. As all people going back home do, I went to see our family doctor and dentist. Obviously nothing very exciting about that. Michael had loads of fun too. Everything was new for him and he kept on taking pictures of things that I take for granted. Growing up in Manila you never think that what you see everyday is actually something new for someone else. I saw everything for the first time thanks to Mike. Here's some of the pictures he took...

A palm tree...


Jeepney (ok this one was a giveaway)


Armed guards (specifically because they had sawed off shotguns)

Borough Market

Going to borough market has always been a special occassion for me. With all the food, vegetables, cheese, fish and meat fresh and in season, browsing through every stall and being able to touch and feel the food and not just a packaged something. The plus size is that everything is cheaper than if you bought it at your local grocery store.

We found this stall that sold the most amazing brownies. Melt in your mouth, full of chocolatey goodness, with each bite I could feel the calories pouring in (those are the best kind). Yum!


Winnie got some cheese for the dinner party we were having that night. I've never seen so much cheese in one place, The goat's cheese we had that night was paired beautifully with the roast orange, red, and yellow peppers together with the salad.


Just how fresh were the stuff being sold there? I saw some rabbits and deer... you can't get any fresher than that. I bought a rabbit (skinned of course) for Mike's dinner the next night.

Yum yum yum.

A perfect ending to a wonderful day

I left the house yesterday at 5 am and took a cab to Paddington station. Winter is still here with a vengeance, outside it was cold, dark and wet but that didn't dampen my mood for one bit. I was picking up my best friend. We came here together but she left to work in the pastry section of a big hotel chain in Hong Kong. I was standing at the platform waiting for the heathrow express to come in. I was pacing up and down the platform in excitement; and then there was screaming, and tears. We stayed at her place, and talked nonstop from paddington until midnight. I am so so happy she is back, my friend from childhood; the woman that I consider as one of my closest relatives. London has become brighter; even the weather didn't get me down today. It is a great day.

Funny enough, this city has loads of surprises in store. After spending the night at Winnie's place, my husband went home early morning to get ready for work as I chatted away with my bestfriend. When I called him up to ask him to take some things to oxfam, he got really snippy. I thought it was because he missed watching *one of the best football games that I ever watched in my entire life* as my cab driver put it. I can understand my husband's frustration with having missed watching Chelsea vs. Barcelona as I wanted to see it too. I don't like arguments being a protector guardian (i'm full of these today), so this dampened my mood a bit. My mood worsened when my cabbie told me how a chelsea player got kicked off, kind of a deja vu for them since they got Liverpool's goalkeeper sent off a week ago (booooo).

I came home tonight to find a bicycle chained to our gate. Some idiot (there is no other way to describe this person) thought our gate would be the best place to secure it with a thick chain and heavy duty padlock. I wouldn't really mind in normal circumstances, except this moron chained it where the gate normally opens, and now it's stuck halfway. I (and the people living upstairs in my building, which includes a very pregnant woman on the top floor) have to squeeze through the gap, step on the bike (it's impossible to step over it, unless you're all legs and no body) to get to our front door. Not cool at all. At first I thought it was a prank, the back wheel was missing, and the front wheel was all bent; this is London afterall. My nice-guy-living-upstairs neighbor said it was probably one of the people living next door who chained it there(obviously no one in our building would be dim enough to inconvenience us and themselves by chaining their mode of transportation to the part of the gate where we usually pass to get to our front door). They obviously did not notice the keypad, or were so brainless that they think it normal to chain someone else's front gate. Nice-guy-living-upstairs, who is usually docile, also told me that if *that darned thing* is still there by tomorrow morning, *I'm going to rip it apart.* Ahhh, I get the feeling that the front wheel was probably in good condition when *that darned thing* was first chained there, and then proceeded to get more bent as my upstairs neighbors let their frustration out on the unsuspecting wheel, only because they couldn't wring the neck of the person who actually put it there. I called my husband at work (very rare occasion as chefs hate being interrupted at work, they get grumpier than usual), I found out that he had to climb over the gate to get out of the house; the bike was in perfect condition when he last saw it. It was spanking brand new, had both wheels and was chained perfectly to the gate (which wouldn't open at all). This is a fire hazard!!! Uh-huh, now I get why he was so grumpy. I should probably tell my neighbors that if the bike is still there when my husband gets home, then nothing's going to be left of the bike when the owner picks it up tomorrow morning. I don't like vandals, and this counts as trashing someone else's property, but in this case I'm all for it.

It could have been a crappy ending to a really good day, but as I got in the house, this man was waiting for me. This is why I got married. Enough said.




This time I called my bestfriend, told her all about the bike and had a laugh. All in realtime. Life is getting better by the minute.

Another one for insomnia

I'm on a roll with flowers lately. Hmm...scratch that. I've been into flowers since I can remember, and my insomnia has somehow given me a renewed passion for everything floral. I hope this keeps up, my sudden burst of energy for painting gives me something to do while I have loads of time on my hands. Hopefully, by the time I get a job, I'll have enough paintings to open up my own gallery (dream on kid).

Insomnia

Insomnia is defined as a chronic inability to fall asleep or remain asleep for an adequate length of time. I don't have a problem remaining asleep for long periods, for people who've been with me during sleepovers, they know that I can sleep for an absurdly long time. The problem with me is falling asleep. During my waking moments, my brain goes into overdrive so much that I have trouble shutting down. I have so many ideas whizzing around my brain that I have an inability to turn them off when I need to. Nowadays, I sleep every other day, which is scary. I went to my GP a couple of days ago to ask for help...I didn't get any. Basically, she told me to find other ways of falling asleep, short of bonking my head so that I conk out, I don't know what else to do. I asked the pharmacy for help, and they gave me these over the counter pills that do an amazing job. Hopefully, I'll be able to get into a normal sleeping pattern after I finish the meds so that I won't need to be a zombie every other day.

The plus side to this is I have so much more waking hours to paint. I find that this helps me relax, my brain only thinks about mixing my paints to get the desired colors that I want. Amazingly, I am able to produce paintings without much effort. At the very least, there's one good thing about not being able to fall asleep.

The Prodigal Daughter

I'm going back to the Philippines next month. I've been having nightmares about it, probably cause I haven't been there for 3 years. Has it been that long? A lot of things have changed since I last saw Manila. I've finished school, became a chef, left work, been jobless, got married (tiny tiny detail), moved into a tiny tiny flat, and lived on no money at all. Very very different from my life back home. Home. For years I've wanted to leave home...for as long as I can remember I've hated living in Manila. I just couldn't wait to leave. Now that I'm nearing my homecoming...I'm overwhelmed by this feeling of how much I've missed home. Home home home...I can't stop saying it. I can't wait to see it, I can't wait to feel it. My self imposed exile has been good...it has been a very rude awakening. Living in the Philippines, I didn't feel any connection to it at all, or so I thought. The thing is...the more you deny yourself of something, the more you end up wanting it. Here, in the land of football, baked beans, and big brother I have made peace with myself. No matter how much I tell myself that I am happy to be living here, I know I am overjoyed at the prospect of going back there. Even if it is just for a little while. If I need to go back to recharge my spirit, then it must truly be HOME.

What has prompted all this mushy feelings for my beloved Manila? I recently stumbled across a blog by a very funny man calling himself batjay. His humor, the off color jokes, things he writes about...they are 100% Filipino. His website is lightyears better than all of the websites sponsored and run from Manila, and this is only from one mean Filipino machine. I truly, truly enjoy his website, short of stopping myself from subscribing to his posts (I think I'm still very much trying to balance out being chinese and growing up filipino...hey I've had years of subliminal training so don't hate me). And the eureka moment...I enjoy Mr. Batjay's writings simply because it reminds me so much of...you guessed it...home.

My weekly epiphany

The good and bad thing about not having a job is loaaaads of time. I've been without a job for almost a year and it has screwed up my brain pretty bad. You start out feeling sorry for yourself, there is nowhere to go when you wake up in the morning, and you try to fill your days with mundane things that seem to be the most important to you (but not everyone else because they have jobs). See, the thing about not working for a long time is that people who have the power to hire you now think *well why haven't you been working for so long anyway?*, so everything becomes a catch 22. I need a job, you won't hire me because I haven't had a job for so long. *Sigh*

Oh yeah, I said good and bad. So the good part is I've been having epiphanies about myself for so long. My weekly epiphanies I call them. I know more about myself now than I ever have for years. Why do I let things that annoy me slide until I reach saturation point and get pissed off as hell? My mom does that, and I've been watching her do it for years. I think people call it patience. My tolerance level is so high that I can let things slide for years, until I get so pissed off that I threaten to call the cops on you (ok I did that just once...)

I'm not comparing myself to them, they are in a league of their own, but the great masters of the last millenium had loads of time to think and ponder. Gravity, the periodic table, astronomy lalalalah. I'm just grateful that I use the time that I have to analyze myself, otherwise I'd have gone out of my mind a long time ago. Hmm...then again I know loads of people who'd say that I am out of my mind. Oh well...

What else did I find out about myself? I was really good at my job back home, because I enjoyed mentoring the people who worked for me. I sucked at my job because I did everything myself; I didn't trust anyone else to do the job (I know...that's baaaad) I hated my job because of the damn politics...therefore ergo I will never ever be a good politician and will never aspire to be so. Sadly, politics make the world go 'round. The people I dislike most are the ones with no heart (I think that says it all). I married my husband because he has loads of heart...and he gives good hugs.

I love cooking, but I will never be a Gordon Ramsey or Thomas Keller, because the kitchen is populated with neurotic people like me, except they're high on drugs (Jamie Oliver is right when he says cocaine is rife in the kitchen...) My ex kitchen colleagues will hate me when they read this, because it is a secret that is kept within the confinement of the kitchen. Foodies and michelin star fans would be surprised at the amount of drugs that pass through the people making their foie gras. Imagine a neurotic artiste' obsessed with creating the perfect dish, throwing away a perfectly good meal because the rocket leaves are too big, or too small, too green or something like that, all the while screaming at the poor minion who was unfortunate enough to hand the salad leaves to the nuclear head chef. Now imagine the same thing except that the head chef is high on drugs. Scary. I have an admiration for the people who excel in the field of cooking, even more admiration if they've managed to stay clean their whole career. Now I know I can work in a kitchen, and be good at it, but I'm not sure if I will last that long. In my kitchen at home, I can create wonderful dishes that my husband raves about. I am content with that (for now).

I do know that I am obsessed with art. I love my pastels, acrylic, watercolour and everything that I can get my hands on to draw, and paint, and create. I am angry at myself for not realizing this sooner (like when I was choosing my degree back in uni). I now have two degrees, and am thinking of getting another one. My mom will go beserk when she finds out about this, as I cannot tell her that I am on a lifelong quest to find what I really want to do because she has had only 2 jobs all her life, and was and still is hugely successful at it (I know why I am like this and it has something to do with my dear old dad).

So what to do now? Ah...that I haven't thought of yet.

Happy New Year Achi Bunny

Got a nice surprise in the mail today. Aww...they grow up so fast.

Mickey Mouse Tongs!

I met up with Ray last Saturday for lunch. We were supposed to meet up the week before that but I've been ill. I don't know if it's something physical or if it's just this damn bad weather...I hate winter. Enough about that.

I got flowers! Wins and Ray got me these really gorgeous flowers for my birthday. They were absolutely divine *take note I don't talk like this in person...not always anyway* We had dimsum. I haven't gone out for dimsum for a long time so it was comfort food...great comfort food from Royal China in Baker Street. Then we went out for coffee, and it was at that point that Ray kindly demonstrated "the run". Thanks for that, it was pure comedy.


I got my christmas present from Wins. Mickey Mouse tongs!!! How cool is that!?!

Lost, Scared and Confused

I have so many ideas in my head, so much stuff that I want to do, but not enough to know what to do with them. For years I have had everything done for me, I've never done my own taxes, never did housework, never worried about anything. Now everything is totally upside down. Once I decided to move away from home, I knew it was the start of something. I just never thought it would be this big. I now am having to fend for myself. I don't have anyone to do anything for me, and it is scary. I wouldn't trade it for my old life, now that I know I have so much to learn, I am finding it hard, but I am trying to make it. Trying is such a loser word I know. Somehow, even if I'm worrying about money every single day of my life, I know things will turn out ok. I just wish it could come sooner.

Duh?!

I was looking for recipes online. I don't know...for some inspiration (naks artiste!) Now I know cooking doesn't come naturally to most people, heck I only started cooking in college. And my first attempts were inedible to say the least, but most people DO KNOW how to make (I don't even know what term to use here but anyway...) INSTANT noodles. You know what I mean, those that come in the pack, like Lucky Me instant noodles, or taiwanese instant noodles (the best btw). So why do I find this in a recipe search?????

Cook ramen noodles in a large pot of boiling salted water 3-4 minutes or until al dente. Drain thoroughly. Toss with flavor packet.

Hello??? Is this a valid R.E.C.I.P.E. ?!?!?!?!? *pant pant pant* These are instructions!!!

So anyway, I'm off to make noodle soup. Uh...how do I boil water again?
___________________________________________________________________

So scrounging stuff from the fridge (ooooooooo everything's frozen!) I managed to gather ingredients that can make for an edible meal. Tadaaaaa! Yum yum if I do say so myself.

2 Chicken Cubes (I don't have a pot large enough to make my own stock...excuses excuses...)
2 Packs Noodles (no not the ones that come with flavored packets)
Porkloin
Greenbeans
1 Egg
Homemade chili (courtesy of my mother in law who makes the best chili)

Wedding Picture

Browsing through my blogs I have realized that I haven't even posted one single picture of my wedding day. That was a fantastic day for me. By my standards (consumer standards) my wedding was fairly simple, straight to the point. I think it suited me, my hippie side. Nothing too frilly, not much preparation. I must say I couldn't stop myself from smiling the whole day. Everything was just perfect. Mike...my husband. Awww.

It's almost Christmas

Well, this is going to be my 2nd Christmas away from home. Away from my mom. I feel sad, but grownup a little bit too. It's just me and Michael this year. Hopefully next year I can spend it with my mom. I am looking forward to my birthday though. Mike and I have planned a stay-in. Well, we usually stay-in a lot anyway but this time he's going to cook for me, and then we're going to turn the heating up and wrap ourselves in our wonderful new lambswool throw, and watch dvd's. Oh and I'm making him hot chocolate.

I can't wait til Christmas.