Dampened spirits

Today, as with the past couple of weeks, I woke up feeling...blah. I can't explain it it's just there. Getting out of bed in the morning is just a chore these days. I think it's this city, the subway, the crap people who bring their prejudice and middle aged ways with them. It's the emptiness of the people. I feel like I'm becoming one of them. Bitchy...I snap at people who irritate me, I am abrubt with them, trying to be curt and polite but only managing to be the former. I get scared sometimes when I catch myself being rude, I don't like it. I don't like how I'm becoming sometimes.

Everyday I find something to be grateful about. My husband for one. I try and think of him to get some warmth throughout the day. My mom, although I don't see her at all these days the thought of going back home to see her keeps me going. Just something to get through the awful days. You know them. All of us have them, and I'm in the middle of it.

I was supposed to go to the park and have spend my lunchbreak soaking in the air, reading the paper, and eating a banana. It was raining so that didn't happen. It was a crummy day at work. Communication barriers can really give you a splitting headache. Talking to someone who doesn't have english as a first language, and you not knowing their mother tongue really tests your skills of communication. I think today I failed.

Deep breaths. That's what got me through the day. I'm glad it's over. Tomorrow is a new day. I'm home now so I'm a bit better. Mike doesn't have work so that made me even more eager to get home quickly. Seeing my husband in his houserobe (how positively domestic don't you think?) making dinner or sitting in front of the computer always gives me a laugh (especially if you knew what color the houserobe was...it was once mine).

I'm signing off tonight full of hope that tomorrow will be a lot better.