I'm going back to the Philippines next month. I've been having nightmares about it, probably cause I haven't been there for 3 years. Has it been that long? A lot of things have changed since I last saw Manila. I've finished school, became a chef, left work, been jobless, got married (tiny tiny detail), moved into a tiny tiny flat, and lived on no money at all. Very very different from my life back home. Home. For years I've wanted to leave home...for as long as I can remember I've hated living in Manila. I just couldn't wait to leave. Now that I'm nearing my homecoming...I'm overwhelmed by this feeling of how much I've missed home. Home home home...I can't stop saying it. I can't wait to see it, I can't wait to feel it. My self imposed exile has been good...it has been a very rude awakening. Living in the Philippines, I didn't feel any connection to it at all, or so I thought. The thing is...the more you deny yourself of something, the more you end up wanting it. Here, in the land of football, baked beans, and big brother I have made peace with myself. No matter how much I tell myself that I am happy to be living here, I know I am overjoyed at the prospect of going back there. Even if it is just for a little while. If I need to go back to recharge my spirit, then it must truly be HOME.
What has prompted all this mushy feelings for my beloved Manila? I recently stumbled across a blog by a very funny man calling himself batjay. His humor, the off color jokes, things he writes about...they are 100% Filipino. His website is lightyears better than all of the websites sponsored and run from Manila, and this is only from one mean Filipino machine. I truly, truly enjoy his website, short of stopping myself from subscribing to his posts (I think I'm still very much trying to balance out being chinese and growing up filipino...hey I've had years of subliminal training so don't hate me). And the eureka moment...I enjoy Mr. Batjay's writings simply because it reminds me so much of...you guessed it...home.
2 comments:
>>>>... So...would you like to have them? (hindi to charity case ha) I just don't want to throw them away, cause most of them still work...anyway...email me in case you're interested.
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Robs!! I still have pens from when I left the Philippines. My classmates gave me pens on my despedida! I promise I'll take care of them. Oops, I just drooled on the keyboard (ok, I didn't but you should see me). Then again, they're your pens so your call. hehehe.
Oh and I love batjay too. Soo crazy!
hi robs.
buti ka pa, you're going home. make the most of the trip. i know it's not the most perfect place in the world but it is home. take lots of pictures, eat all the great food, meet all your friends and relatives and go to all the nice places so when you go back to the cold place where you live now, you'll still feel warm.
ingat,
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