I thought you were Spanish...

I've given in. I finally went to see the doctor on Monday to have my finger checked. I was starting to worry that it wouldn't heal properly and I'd lose the bendy finger that I love (ok I love all my fingers...I wouldn't want to part with any of them...). This was the same doctor who told me that my bout of chickenpox was a mild one. A week into it my face was just nightmare on elm street scary (I kid you not, Cindy saw me and just said *Oh my...*). So anyway, as he was checking my finger

Doctor: *Tsk I'm afraid I won't be able to do anything for the scars...*

Right. While he was checking his book to see which medicine he'll prescribe me, I decided to weigh myself using his official this-thing-doesn't-lie weighing scale. NOOOOOO! I've gained 13 kilos in the past 6 months. That's approximately 2 kilos a month good lord! So my good doctor suddenly says...

Doctor: *You're overweight...*

Yah think? Yo...the finger!

Doctor: *You need to quit smoking.*

Yes doctor....my finger?

Doctor: *I'm going to send you to a clinic to have blood tests, you might have some hormone problems...*

Ok, so I'm really supposed to be a guy...finger?

Doctor: *Oh and come back 2:30 this afternoon so the nurse can clean and bandage your finger.*

Can't you do it? It's 11 am.

Doctor: *She'll do it for you.*

Is that red tape or whaaaat? So nu-ni-nu-ni-nu not so little me decided to window shop in chav city Primark. Waiting in line a chavvy grandma went straight up the queue...

I was waiting in line.

Chavvy grandma: There's no line, it's just you who's waiting, besides you should've gone in and waited there.

Ladidadidaaaah.

Chavvy grandma: Besides I only have one skirt and you have 3 things in your hand.

You know what? Never mind...you go ahead.

Chavvy grandma: Silleh gurl.

Hearing her say that I couldn't help but repeat it in her accent. Silleh...silleh? I was fortunate enough to get a space beside her so while I was singing silleh silleh silleeeeeeh she got pissed off. Hmmm...what a wonderful day this is turning out to be.

Afternoon with the nurse comes.

Nurse with her nose hair sticking out: *Why are you here?*

The doctor told me to come back so you can bandage my finger and instruct me on how to use the medicine.

Nurse with her nose hair sticking out: *Can't you read english?*

Right.

Nurse with her nose hair sticking out: *I'm going to prescribe you some medicine. Can you afford to pay for this?*

.....

I really didn't know how to react to the whole thing...but I was left with a moronic feeling the rest of the day. I've been treated with prejudice...for what I don't really know but that's how I felt. I'm not angry, I found the whole thing funny and puzzling really. It just verifies what I already know...you get racist abuse as long as the person you're dealing with lives in a small world. Or maybe it's when they have hair sticking out of your nose.

Today I got a call offering me free broadband. Yey! Finally free webspace and my own porn site! NOT.

Callcenter guy: *What accent is that? I thought you were Spanish...*

No I'm French really.

Callcenter guy: *Reeaallly? I could've sworn you were Spanish...*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAArgh!

So I am officially overweight again. How depressing. How horrible. I snuck a peek at nurse-with-hair-sticking-out-of-her-nose's monitor and it read...13 kilos overweight. Ideal weight is 60 kgs. I was whining about it to benboy who kindly offered me a healthier eating plan...lots of oats, no sugar and something something. Oats? Isn't that what horses eat? *Grin* Ok I give in, I've bought a box of original quaker oats unsweetened no flavor whatsoever healthy food. Like what I used to have for breakfast back when I was a kid, not pleasant. However, for the sake of my health, sanity and vanity...I will do it. Oh yeah six meals a day so I don't get hungry. I was sharing this with Ed who promptly replies...

Ed: *...that doesn't work...*

Really? Why not?

Ed: *I tried it...I just got fatter.*

Uhm...when you say six meals a day. Where those meals with rice and the full shebang?

Ed: *OF COURSE! I'm from da Philippines, you can't have a meal without rice.*

Heheheh...thanks for making my day.